RECEIPT REVIEW: A Library Receipt from Longwood University

Where we take a found receipt and make a rash yet fair morale judgement based on the items listed.


Date: 12/15/10 4:25 PM

Items:

The Simpsons [videorecording]: the complete fifth season

The Truman Show [videorecording] / Paramount Pictures

Ponyo [videorecording] / Walt Disney Pictures and Studio Ghibli

Moon [videorecording] / Sony Pictures Classics


Analysis:

First of all, not a single book on there. For shame, anonymous library patron. Personally, we think you could benefit from something to leaf through in between midnight viewings of Ponyo and Moon, perhaps to balance on your boxer shorts, next to your plastic bowl of ravioli.

Season 5 of The Simpsons? You'll find the jokes in season 2 to be far subtler, and far better written. Perhaps not for you, then.

Moon? You do realize this is in reference to the object in the sky, not that thing you and your frat buddies do to passing cars.

The Truman Show? Really? What is this, 1998? Idiot.

Verdict:

Why are you even in college? Hopeless. As in, there's no hope for you. Ever.